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[EDITORIALS] Sticks, stones, and hoes can break bones

[EDITORIALS] Sticks, stones, and hoes can break bones

Men are studs. But women are hoes.

I’m not cool with double standards. The only difference between women and men is our genitalia. And it’s a known fact that women can accomplish more than men. Hello? When it comes to multi-tasking – women hold the No.1 spot. Yet as a whole, we are paid less, respected less.

We’ve gotten to the point where ‘boss bitch’ or ‘bad bitch’ is becoming a term of endearment.

Fuck that.

That’s exactly what happened with the word ‘nigga’. Now, flipping the meaning of how we address ourselves is all dumb tricks. Yet we’ll get mad when a white man addresses us that way. You know why? Because the words never did lose it meaning, we just pretended it did. Or maybe it’s a self-defense mechanism working in the tradition of the adage: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words never will never harm me.”

Nah, this is definitely a case of the “mind playing tricks on you.”

Other terms, we do the Kanye shrug to are the words ‘hoe’ and ‘slut’. Being on Black Twitter all I see are tweets about ‘heaux’ this ‘hoe’ that. Even more disgusting are the Twitter trending topics degrading women like #SheAHoeIf or just type in the search field ‘hoe’ – it’s really ignorant out there in social media – women are more likely to be degraded than celebrated. Good girls and bad girls all lumped in one vicious tweet.

I used to excuse hearing those words in songs or when man-childs talk and say, “Well, they ain’t talking about ME!” or by laughing it off. Yes, you probably used this loophole defense as well. You know what happens the moment you declare that excuse? You pass judgment on women you don’t even know. You allowed the perpetual oppression of the woman’s sexuality. Are we OK with men getting the pass to have multiple sex partners and women can’t or she will be targeted as a slut?

Writer, Elissa Schappell, of “Blueprints For Building Better Girls” says it succintly, “There is no such thing as a good girl or a bad girl; there are human girls with difficult choices,” said Schappell. “The problem is when the culture says this is what it means to be a good girl, a good mother, a good girlfriend. We’re holding women up to a standard that we certainly don’t hold men up to. A lot of women get poisoned by this idea because we can’t be that person. The rules that exist for us – it’s maddening.”

I find that 10 out of 10 times when men address women as ‘hoes’ it’s either because their mad at them or because they feel she isn’t allowed the same sexual freedom as a man. When was the last time this said stud tested for STDs, anyway? Now, who’s the real ‘hoe’?

To this day Webster’s Dictionary still shows ‘hoe’ to be a noun or a thing. This is its definition:

hoe: A hoe is a gardening tool with a thin metal blade that is often used to break up dirt.

Now, ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ are in Webster’s but even its meanings are attached to women who are prostitutes. I think men and women are misguided into degrading women unfairly. Casual sex is casual sex. Adults need to act like adults and respect each other. Otherwise, don’t have sex. And don’t unfairly assign who gets called a player-player or got damn hoe. It’s called ‘responsible sex’, which includes respect and the disclosure of one’s health and relationship status minus the drugs and alcohol.

People are obsessed with other people’s sex lives, it’s sickening. It’s a purely private matter, which is why there are no laws against having sex, unless it’s for money (except in Nevada).

Stop with the double standards. With age comes wisdom, and addressing ourselves as ‘niggas’, ‘bitches’, and ‘hoes’, is another colonialism ‘divide and conquer’ technique. So, if you’re with those words, then you’re just another dumb nigga.

Permanent link to this article: http://sdlandmotherhood.com/editorials-sticks-stones-and-hoes-can-break-bones/

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